+ inload: Tallowlands Invitational MMXXVI +

+ Blood Bowl season +

It's that time of year again – time for Blood Bowl! After some fun warm-up games last weekend to get back into the swing of things and try the new edition, the PCRC are starting a new Tallowlands Invitational league.

I used my human team, Chaunterwick Unathletic, over the weekend, but the new season rules have introduced lots of subtle changes. I've decided to use this as an excuse to finish off my dwarf and elf teams, both of which have quite substantial changes that I hope will make for exciting plays and a fun experience all-round.

Both teams are still being kitted out (read: being painted), but I thought you might like to read a little about them.

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+ The Karak City Griefs +

Nickname  Blackened Angers

Head coach  Loki Nogson

Sponsors  Nogmeister beer – 'Follow the bear (he's nicked your pint)'

Stadium   Arrow-in-Head stadium

Hailing from the new port of Karak-Scael, the Karak City Griefs have long drawn their players and supporters from the port itself, along with the numerous mining villages in the foothills of the Greyspire Mountains. 

The Griefs describe themselves as a 'popular and successful' team; a claim which is certainly made by them.

More cosmopolitan than many dawi settlements, Karak-Scael – known outside of Khazlaid circles as 'Slate-on-Usk' – has only distant connections to the traditionalist and inward-looking dwarfs of Migdahlgorm to the west, and is refreshingly liberal. The port attracts travellers and traders of all kinds; and the streets – like the Griefs' home stands – is packed with dwarfs, humans, halflings and even the occasional elf, ogre or lizardfolk.

The dwarfs of Slate-on-Usk are as well-known for their wiliness as their more traditional dawi virtues of thrift and hard work. Riddling and gambling are common pastimes, and the culture of the port town has rubbed off on the team, who pride themselves on their 'unconventional' strategies and tactics.

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Starting lineup

Loki Nogson, a new coach for this season, has brought in a swathe of new young (well, youngish) players, including Bori Beardwold, a groggy transfer whose contract was definitely legal whatever you say, you can't go back on that just because you had too much ale, and Travage Kelsy, who made a name for himself as the fastest dwarf in the league last season – his quick thinking and speed making headlines across the region.

These new players join an experienced line-up of names like Morris Minehead, beloved for his reliable engineering, excellent ball-handling and classic style; the team's blitzer, Brock Brewcannon; and crowd favourite Ofdahn Pitt, a thoroughly local character, beloved for his ability to wind up the opposition with well-placed digs that inevitably leads to a big, crowd-pleasing scrum.

Leading this team into the Tallowlands Invitational is Captain Padraig Mastones, who previously headed up the Cadair-ap-Nadhg Capstones, a team of wood elves, dwarfs and gnomes who play Green Rules Blood Bowl, a little-known local variant. 

Mastones brings a wealth of experience from his time with the Capstones. His silver tongue (and heavy fists) means referees tend to be understanding if he occasionally 'happens to forget which variant he's playing', and 'accidentally' undertakes a play that is 'perfectly acceptable in Green Rules, I assure you' and unaccountably disallowed under the laws of both standard Blood Bowl and the Slate-on-Usk Town Watch.

• (Captain) Padraig Mastones (Runner)
Arin Fyrmfforge
• Brock Brewcannon (Blitzer)
• Bori Beardwold
• Travage Kelsy (Runner)
• On the Ball
• Ori Oakbrandy
• Stann Blockbeard
• Harri Halvpint
• Ofdahn Pitt
• Taunt
• Morris Minehead
• Biffur Broadbeam

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+ Argo Owlbears +

Nickname   The 'Chic'

Head coach  Vidal Monsoon

Sponsors  Elvies djeans – 'Denim that's better than yours, peasant'

Stadium   Sailor Field stadium

The Argo was supposedly the first elven ship to reach the Tallowlands, and – while possibly mythical – is a cultural touchstone for all Elves on the continent of Rho.

Amongst the great and the good*, the fact that this team of foppish, prancing chancers has adopted the name as their symbol is universally** agreed to be in terribly poor taste.

The Owlbears care not a jot, as long as they get a chance to show off their sparkly uniforms, glossy hair and perfect skin on the field of dreams.

Head Coach Vidal Monsoon is an outspoken advocate for the elf method of play – which is to say that the opposition aren't allowed to do any blocking in the first quarter, and ideally not the first half. Few other Tallowlands residents agree.

Famed mostly for the splendour of their coiffures, tightness of their uniforms and willingness to grant pre-, post- and during-match interviews, the Argo Owlbears are almost always known by their team nickname, which has become an honorary epithet amongst both home and away fans.

At least, the team think the traditional chant from the Away stands is 'You're chic and you know you are'.

* Here meaning 'other elves', of course, because who care what the other species think?

** Again – elves.

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Starting lineup

After a disastrous first season, where funds meant that only four extremely overpaid players signed contracts and took to the field, Monsoon's strategy this year can be summed up as 'never mind the quality, feel the width', with an eye-watering twelve players on the benches – almost unheard of for an elf team. 

Up-and-coming players to keep an eye out for are Loriel Elvies, who has impressed in early training by keeping his kit extremely clean through the canny expedient of staying away from any grubby-looking opposition players; and the dashing Brythael Pureologie, the only player remaining from the Owlbear's first season, who has been awarded the Captaincy on account of actually knowing how to play the game.

• Garniere Parée – line elf
• Owain Olaplex – line elf
• Brythael Pureologie – thrower (Cap) 
• Pro
• Twrch Vosiene – line elf
• Loriel Elvies – line elf
• Hit and Run
• Tre Sùmme – line elf
• Ceredig Kérastacy – line elf
• 'Red' Cenn Gracious – blitzer
• Eithinyn Ethique – line elf
• Seisyll Batiste – line elf
• Ouai Detocs – line elf
• Ceremonia – line elf

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